Being a mother is amazing. It can be all-encompassing; some days your heart is so full of love and happiness you feel as though it could burst. Some days by the time you’ve been awake for two hours all you can do is dream about when you will go back to bed or get more than two minutes to yourself. You sometimes wish for silence, and then you miss the noise. You sometimes wish for time with just yourself, then you miss the company of your family. Sometimes you dream about going to a movie or dinner by yourself…..then you can’t wait to get back home and see your little one. Sometimes you want a vacation and dream about staying away. There is nothing wrong with wanting different things at different times. Our minds, bodies, auras, and spirits need rest, relaxation, silence, companionship, noise, and sometimes aloneness. All at different times. It’s ok to want everyone around one moment and no one around the next. It’s ok to dream about being alone and then think of your family. You can have the warring dichotomy on a daily basis or not at all. Motherhood is full of changing wants and needs, and it is important to know that these feelings are normal. Each individual has a different personality and social needs. These do not change simply because you’re a mother! In fact being a mother can magnify them. If you’re an introvert and never get time to yourself anymore than you may crave and need even more time to re supply after a long busy day. If you’re an extrovert and feel like you have cabin fever you may need to get out every evening and be around other adults to recharge. You’re not crazy for needing space, and you’re not crazy for needing adult interaction. You’re a mother, and the conundrum of motherhood is that we desperately want to retain our independent sense of ourselves and yet we now have a natural motherhood instinct to never be too far removed from our children- whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
So whatever you’re feeling, it’s ok. It’s ok to want two opposite things at once. We are mothers and we don’t have to justify our thoughts or feelings or wants to anyone but ourselves.